Xander is a young Carer with an autistic brother and a younger sister. Xander’s brother can be violent with him and his sister. Xander protects his sister from harm when his parents are not in the room.

When I began to work with Xander, at times he became withdrawn/unhappy at school especially when the pressures of home got too much.


Mum has reported that he says he hates his brother then gets very upset with himself for feeling that way at times.  Xander in the school holidays locked himself in the car and tried to harm himself because he said that he must be very bad person for on occasions hating his own brother.


Mum and Dad are very caring/attentive parents to all three children and school has no concerns as to their capabilities or parenting.  Dad is in the forces and has been home based for a time.  This is now changing as he now will be on a six month engagement away from home.  This leaves Mum having to rely more on Xander.


Work undertaken


             Xander has received support from YC’s, his first activity was an session at Markeaton park. He is such a lovely boy and really enjoyed mixing with other young people. Considering it was his first introduction the all the other young carers Xander did well to interact with the rest of the group and did not seem to be phased from meeting new people.


             121 support was provided for Xander and he always enjoyed the sessions but never really spoke of how things were at home and often would say that things were better. During this period of time I would have close contact with mum to see whether things at home were as Xander spoke of. Xander was really enjoying the 121 sessions and the main reason was that there was someone that would just listen to him and support him. He was used to people coming in to support his brother so now that this was support was for him he felt happier.


             During the regular support things were a little up and down at times but Xander was managing to deal with his emotions and learning new ways of releasing his ager rather than trying to hurt himself.


             During lockdown I was worried for how Xander would cope I got a little worried as I wasn’t able to contact mum as she wasn’t answering her phone. I know that this would be a very difficult time for Xander spending 24/7 with his brother. I did finally manage to get in touch with mum who informed me that Xander was doing ok. I offered zoom session support and an opportunity to play games and quizzes which Xander was excited about.


             In carrying out zoom sessions it was evident that although Xander was doing well he would benefit from going back to school as being around his brother can be very stressful especially as Xander’s brother would often be aggressive towards him.


             I spoke with mum and school and looked to getting Xander back into school as due to him being a young carer he was classed as a vulnerable child. School were able to offer Xander a place in school and this came at the same time as Xander’s brother also went back to school which meant things were easier for mum at home and for Xander’s sister.


             Since Xander has returned to school he is happier although school isn’t the same with the social distancing he is feeling better and didn’t realise how much he missed school. Xander has ups and downs however which is inevitable in the family environment he lives in. However Xander is able to speak more freely about how he is feeling. Xander is managing his emotions better and is able to cope better when incidents arise.


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