Oscar is a Young Carer aged 12 who lives with his mum and stepdad. He has siblings with autism and additional needs.
They can be demanding and require a lot of Oscar’s time. Oscar told me he didn’t want to help with any jobs at home and this was causing problems between him and his mum. He told me he gets angry, argues with mum and tries to get out of helping. Oscar says he always gets angry and he ‘just blows’.
Oscar wants things to change, he was spending a lot of time in his bedroom as a means of escape. He said he was fine in all other areas.
Support for Oscar
Oscar and I started off sessions with looking at how he was feeling. He was clear about how he felt and said he didn’t want to help his mum and he felt angry and frustrated about it. We spent time looking at some of the jobs he was having to do and the time it was taking to do each job.
We had to look realistically at what could and couldn’t change. Oscar realised he would probably always have to help in the home to some degree. We looked at how this could be best managed and how he would feel afterward. We discussed doing something different to get a different outcome.
I asked Oscar what he felt would happen if he continued to argue with mum as this didn’t mean he gets out of completing his jobs. He was able to see he would continue to feel angry, tearful and upset.
Over the course of 3 sessions in school, I suggested to Oscar about doing his job as soon as he is asked. I told him he might find it difficult at first as he is used to arguing with mum, but this would be the first steps to getting a different outcome.
Oscar was willing to give it a go, and started by doing his jobs straight away. As a result of this he was able to get back to playing his games and taking time out for himself. Oscar felt a lot happier about things as he was getting on better with his mum and siblings.
Oscar understands he may always have to help his family. After ‘Lockdown’ came into place in March, I continued to support Oscar over the phone, and he has gone from strength to strength and says he is doing well. On every report Oscar has informed me that he is doing fine and no longer gets angry like before.
This is what Oscar had to say:
I feel fine now. I don’t get as angry as I used to and I do all my jobs as soon as I’m asked. This means I can get back to playing on my computer. My jobs are out the way. I’m back at school and it’s great. I’m getting lots of support from school and everything is going well. The classes are a lot smaller and that works well for me. I do still have my moments but it’s nothing like it was before. I’m happy. I feel calmer.
This is what his mum had to say:
My relationship with Oscar is the best it’s ever been. I’m pleased with his progress. He’s not arguing and asks if I need any help. He’s back in school on a part time programme and is doing really well. I don’t think he needs any more support. He’s doing great.
As a result of young carer intervention and being able to identify key issues, Oscar’s emotional wellbeing has improved. Oscar is no longer just a young carer. He is a young carer who can cope.
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